Imagine. Imagine being inspired and totally blown away everyday. I'm not… and mostly I don't mind. It's not that there isn't inspiring things out there - it's just that most of the time I just don't care. To be honest my default setting is not wonder, it's corrosion - it's to stagnate, to backslide, to debase. And what shocks me most is that I am not shocked by this… most of the time anyway. Because sometimes, just sometimes life bursts through - a crack appears in my calloused heart and a single ray of light breaks in. It's amazing the damage a single ray of light can do to a hard heart - it spoils my comfort, it snaps me awake and I really do believe in hope, sing in love and feel like I am one - centred and true. I feel as if there is wonder and purpose and wholeness in the world and that it all belongs to me... only to close up again. Like I can ever have had enough of goodness! But I do close up - 'good' gets filed, labelled, dissected and put on the shelf and some other experience is sought and ultimately poisons my heart again - dries me out and takes me back into madness and blandness only to need ‘good’ to break through me all over again.

Why oh why can't I accept wonder and grace and MYSTERY?
More than anything I want to accept and cherish the mystery of God being real and good and liking me.